


(S)elective Memory Loss

by Vilakins



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Gen, Post Gauda Prime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6699376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vilakins/pseuds/Vilakins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vila wants to forget and will pay to do so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(S)elective Memory Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Trope: amnesia

"Why this planet?" Soolin asked as they disembarked from the cheap transport.

"Because you can pay to forget here. You know, something that you can't let go of, that gives you nightmares, that you'd be better off without? They can erase it. Shut it away." Vila hesitated. "Wouldn't you like that, for some of the things in your past?"

Soolin gave him a cool, disapproving look. "No. If I forgot what happened to my parents, I'd have to find out. Then it would hurt all over again, and I've already dealt with that."

"Well, I suppose the difference is, I haven't yet."

"You mean with Avon shooting Blake? A friend killing a friend? Or trying to."

"Ex-friends in both cases. I mean, Avon stopped being one a couple of years ago, and Blake, well, Blake didn't look like the one I remembered. And he didn't even seem to remember me. Or he did and I just didn't matter."

"To be fair, I doubt I'd be enquiring after your health if I had a large projectile weapon pointed at me."

"All the same," Vila said unhappily. "I used to think he liked me, liked all of us. But these days I wonder whether he ever did. Whether anyone ever did." He turned to look at Soolin. "I don't even know why you're here."

Soolin shrugged. "I don't have any plans and Califeron sounded as good as anywhere. So, what specifically do you want to forget?"

"All of it. That I'm me."

Soolin grabbed his arm so that he stopped, right there in the street. "You can't do that!"

"What d'you mean?"

"We might start with certain traits and talents, but so much of who we are is what we've experienced, what we've lived through."

"Wouldn't you want to forget some of it? Like things people paid you to do?"

"Perhaps. But I also honed my survival skills along the way and I do want to keep that."

"Oh. Well, you probably like who you are."

"You don't?"

"Would you? Look, the last couple of years I've been the unwanted spare part. The butt of jokes, target of sneers, someone who probably made everyone else feel better because at least they weren’t me," Vila said, all the bitterness coming out. "Didn't even need a thief or a gunner for that matter, not with Dayna there and of course _anyone'd_ be an improvement over me."

"Ah. Is that why you drank so much?"

"Drink to forget, they say. Didn't work."

Soolin raised her eyebrows. "But you're the best thief in the galaxy, according to you anyway. You must be proud of that."

"Oh, yeah. Wanted just for what I can do, not for who I am. Don't mind if I forget that too. There was even a girl once who thought she loved me because I was clever with locks and vaults, wanted me to go to a new planet with her, but she wouldn't have liked me if she'd really got to know me."

Soolin regarded him thoughtfully. She wanted to say that she liked him, for his humour even in the worst situations, but she didn't like to reveal that much about herself. Nor would he believe her.

"I can just start all over again. See, I have a bank account under the name of Sven Lassiter which I've sunk all my savings into, just in case I had to become someone else. And this way I can. I'll wake up with a new name and all that money."

"No," Soolin said with a force that surprised her. "You can't define yourself by what a handful of people under a lot of stress thought of you. Look, wasn't there a time when you _did_ like yourself? And surely there are people you wouldn't want to forget."

"My mum," Vila said, so quietly she almost didn't hear. "Soolin, you're right. The way things are now I can't stand being me and I don't think I can trust anyone ever again, but I don't need to get rid of it all. I just have to forget the last four years."

 

Soolin wasn't sure why she had waited. Curiosity, perhaps? He did in fact look different, in almost indefinable ways: taller, more confident, slightly younger, and cheerful. "Hello," she said cautiously.

"Hello, there!" Vila gave her a wide grin.

"You _are_ still Vila Restal?"

"Who else would I be? And who are you, if I may ask?"

"Soolin. A friend."

"Oh, hello, Soolin! Lucky me to have such a pretty and kind friend!"

"Kind?" Soolin asked drily.

"You'd have to be to hang around while someone had memories taken away. Or locked away, whatever they do with them." Vila held a plas-sheet certificate stating that the previous four years of Sven Lassiter's memory had been sequestered. "I'd ask you why I paid to forget all that stuff, but I must've I had good reason to."

"If you search for your name in the news archives, you may get an inkling. In fact, I would advise you not to use your own name at all. It's... somewhat notorious."

"Not surprised, not with me being able to get through every lock ever designed." Vila held another slip of plas-sheet. "Anyway, not to worry; I wrote a note to myself that I'm now the independently wealthy Sven Lassiter, which is another way of saying idle rich bastard."

"Idle?" Soolin smiled, knowing how different and confident Vila was on the few occasions when there had been something he could do. "You'll have to see how that suits you."

 

And she was right. Vila set up a security business there on Califeron, "keeping people almost as good as me out of places", and Soolin stayed on as a bodyguard for hire to selected clients. It was fun. Vila was fun. He was as funny and kind-hearted as the Vila she'd known, but without the depression and lack of self-confidence. What could go wrong?

 

"Hello, Vila."

"It's Sven, actually." Vila narrowed his eyes. "And who might you be?"

"Is this one of your more imbecilic jokes?"

"Oh, come on. Don't keep me guessing."

"Avon." The man bared his teeth in an unnervingly reptilian way. "Do you remember now?"

"Yes and no. Yes, because I found out I used to be one of Blake's rebels, and you were one of them. And no, because—" Vila reached under the counter and brought out the memory adjustment certificate. "Have a look at this."

Avon's face went briefly slack. "Why would you do that? So that you can deny it all?"

"Maybe. That sounds a fairly decent reason to me. After all, you managed to find me."

"Only because you were stupid enough to use the name on your secret bank account."

"Oh, did I tell you about that?"

"I found out when I wondered where your Freedom City winnings had gone."

"That's all right, if it's only you who knows." Vila put his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands. "But tell me more about Freedom City. Sounds interesting. I've heard of that place."

'I," said Soolin, coming into the office, "would rather know why you're here, Avon."

"Ah, Soolin. So good to see you too," Avon said with patent insincerity. "This need only concern you if you have any interest in re-joining the rebellion."

"I was never really in it. I just had nowhere else to go at the time. Thank you, but I will decline. I would assume however that you have patched things up with Blake, from the reports I've seen."

"You might say that."

"After the holes you put in Blake were patched up, from what I heard," Vila said lightly.

Avon winced. "And what about you, Vila? We could use your skills."

"So can the people here. Look, sorry, I don't remember you or the others, so there wouldn't be much point, would there? Best of luck, though. Um, Avon, wasn't it?"

Avon looked expressionlessly at Vila for several seconds, then turned and walked out.

"That must have been hard," Soolin said. "Having to pretend you couldn't remember him."

"Nah." Vila grinned. "I enjoyed making him think he just didn't matter to me. It'll be good for him. As long as he doesn't remember that readjustments never worked on me for long." Vila put an affectionate arm around Soolin. "I'm just glad this one took for long enough for me to remember who I am."


End file.
